oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
