i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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