you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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