im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
How does it feel to date your dad?
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