happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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