FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
