he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
this is an emotional support booty call
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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