Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
