Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
