:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize