You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
