my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
