Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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