Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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