Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
