This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
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