He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
