I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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