You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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