Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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