Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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