Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way

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(443): View more from Maryland

I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation

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(210): View more from Texas

OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.

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(703): View more from Virginia

the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign

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(703): View more from Virginia

i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after

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(214): View more from Texas

Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.

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(941): View more from Florida

I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck

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