its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
