the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
