You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
sex in a hospital.. check
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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