Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
