My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
