sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
