Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i will never coherently bang her
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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