My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
