Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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