The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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