Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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