ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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