You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
