well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
