Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
