my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
