pedialite and red bull = repair kit
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
