I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
