Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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