Apparently you make a good broom.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize