In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
