I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
