If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
