I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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