Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i think my cat just said my name.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
