need another drink. this is the easiest way
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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