I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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