Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
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