i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
