I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize