but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
