He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize