Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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