I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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