Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
