Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I understand Curling. That high.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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