I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
