ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
