Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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