Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize