If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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