First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
