She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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