it wasn't lemon gatorade
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
