hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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