So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
