if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
