"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
